Hypothyroidism ruined my relationship

Hypothyroidism ruined my relationship

Hypothyroidism has the power to affect our lives so completely.

Written by Robyn Guidon, Founder of www.robynguidon.com

It was January 20. My boyfriend and I had been living long distance while we waited for his company to transfer him. We were planning a life and trying to have children and I knew he was the one for me. We were on the phone and he had just let me know that he didn’t get the transfer we’d been hoping for. I was starting to comfort him when I heard “…and I was relieved…”

My gut dropped.

During the weeks that passed like molasses he asked for space. He got angry. He had previously asked me to move home but realized that’s not what he wanted either. I heard everything from the trying to hurt me “I don’t love you” (he absolutely did) to “I don’t want to slip back into old patterns” (I can’t blame him) to the absolutely soul crushing “I haven’t felt loved in a very long time”.

Crap. Yup. There it was. And the saddest part was that I knew it…

We were in a place that certainly wasn’t okay and from the moment the ball dropped, I’ve let him know that I respected his decision. He’s always led us to be our best and I was not showing up as that person for him or for me.

Though I’ve heard many things through this time, we’ve settled on the fact that he needs to be alone and do things his way. I know in my heart of hearts that there’s truth to that, so through our breakup I have loved him and honoured him and his wishes and we’ve remained as fair as we could be.

But, also in my heart of hearts, I know that if I was showing up as the person he had met and fell in love with, we wouldn’t be in this spot in the first place.

And that’s where my story begins…

The other day I was flipping through pictures on our computer, being nostalgic and letting myself have a good cry.

Things were incredible.

Unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Our first dates were romantic and epic:

A bucket list northern lights experience on our very first date. Our second, a 4 day trip that included my first time ever seeing Niagara Falls by opening the grand curtains from our Falls View Suite (I cried at the sight), then, a weekend in the world renowned Jasper Alberta, followed by 10 days in a car traveling all through the Maritimes, always stopping to golf at some of the best courses in the Country.

Then came pictures of our life and home together, adopting our pets, and more travels.

Glimpses of our daily life that I had been missing for the last 5 months we’d been apart flicked in front of my eyes.

And then there it was.

A screen shot of a text I received many moons ago.

I wasn’t expecting it.

I don’t even know why it was there….

The text simply said:

You’re so easy to love. I’m a lucky man.

It hit me hard.

As recently I have been very not easy to love…

I’m not sure where it all started but somewhere along the last year or two I became someone I couldn’t recognize.

A few years ago I started to gain weight and feel lethargic.

C’s brother would call me “high energy” and we’d look at each other like he was crazy; that was certainly not how we’d describe me anymore.

I started getting snappy, my sex drive disappeared and I felt impatient about life.

In September 2012 I experienced 3 large losses and after the stress of it all I was no longer just ‘moody’, I felt angry a lot.

At life.

At him.

At work.

At where we lived.

And anyone who’s been angry, or with an angry person, knows that it rips through your life like wildfire.

I had no idea where it was coming from. Things that would normally never bother me would make me fly off the handle. Like, really stupid stuff:

He wouldn’t turn off his alarm quickly enough in the morning.

Pending client calls or appointments.

Driving in a town with no traffic.

Even chopping veggies for dinner made me angry – and I’m a health coach and truly believe in the miracle of great and healthy food!

He drew the line on numerous occasions and let me know that he would not be with an angry woman; hearing that would break my heart and I’d try to control it, but it’d seep out of me like water from an over soaked sponge…

I didn’t want to show up as that girl.

I didn’t think I was that girl.

And yet, that’s who I became…

Besides the anger, I had been having scary head pain daily with large painful pulses that felt like something was about to burst; I went to bed the last 6 months with the fear that I wouldn’t wake up. Despite eating clean and hiring trainers and joining crossfit, I continued to gain weight (people would tell me that losing weight was just harder in your thirties. I countered that I know 60 year olds that could lose weight, and yet, I could not lose a single pound, nor could I stop gaining weight although I was doing everything right to lose it).

I felt old and tired all the time, I lacked intimacy, my legs kept swelling (the doctors had me in compression tights), my joints hurt, and not only could I no longer wear the wardrobe I loved because of the weight gain, I could no longer wear heels either as my ankles felt stiff and weak.

I went from feeling strong and capable to always feeling too busy and like things were always spinning out of control.

I’d wake up in the morning and ask C if he felt more tired waking up than he did when he went to sleep (his answer was no, mine was always yes). I had anxiety and felt like I had depression (life felt flat, monotone and lacking joy) even though I continued to feel motivated towards life and our future in a non-depressed way. I’d bicker with people at work even though I was highly trained in conflict resolution and office dynamics.

Somewhere during this time my cycle flipped and I’d be irrational and emotional and feeling crazy all month long and level out during my period. C loved being around me when I was on my period; I was emotionally connected and caring and had a softness about me that I didn’t have the rest of the month. We both loved that girl who showed up those days.

I had been going to Doctors for a year and Naturopaths for the 6 months following.

I carried a list in my phone to read off to each professional I saw (just a glimpse…the list is longer than one screen shot).

Hypothyroidism ruined my relationship

The doctor’s would either test me and tell me I was “low but within normal range” or tell me there was nothing wrong.

One actually told me, ‘welcome to a woman’s normal cycle’. (Um, I just told you it was opposite of normal…)

I felt shameful as this shouldn’t be happening to a once young feeling, vibrant, and bold woman. Didn’t hormone issues just affect older women?

I felt embarrassed that people were judging my extreme weight gain as I wanted to let them know I was working my tail off and yet that doesn’t easily fit into conversation…

I’d seek help from friends stating, “I love C more than I’ve loved anyone, and yet I always seem angry with him…”

No one was listening and as I was beginning to lose my positive outlook, felt like I was complaining.

I was no longer the woman who cried with his mother at the idea of him moving so far away to be with me; I didn’t want to take him away from everyone he loved. “It’ll be good”, she replied, mentioning that love and a new career is an exciting time. And quite possibly, if things were better for me, it would have been everything we all hoped for in that moment…

C and I eventually decided for me to take a transfer, hoping he wouldn’t be far behind, as I obviously wasn’t happy and something needed to change.

We talked about living in a place that allowed us to explore hundreds of places on an average weekend and create a new and exciting normal for ourselves because I (and we) were feeling so stuck.

We chose a location where our family up north comes to visit and then we packed up my life and drove me south (that was the thing about C, he’s only ever wanted me to be happy and was willing to sacrifice whatever it took for that, including him living alone in our house and taking on the sole responsibility of selling it and officially moving us down at a later date).

But the thing about feeling disconnected when you’re with someone every day and can see them and kiss and touch them is that it’s overly amplified when there’s 1,200 kilometers between you. I figured we had done the long distance thing before so we could do it again, but I wasn’t in a disconnected fog when we were long distance before…

I was in the location we wanted and was still feeling stuck and flat and monotone and angry…C and I communicated daily although we weren’t always talking and when we would he’d feel unsupported. My family was feeling snapped at. My work sucked.

We did a large renovation to get the house ready to sell (possibly a little too much for a struggling long distance couple to do although with the best of intentions for our new life) and I freaked out at the debt of it all because acting irrationally was normal at this point and when everything feels out of control, you try to control the things you think you can…I’d speak to myself with my coach logic. It’s just money and a renovation is an investment, but that’s not how I would act…

Although I knew I was excited to see him, I wouldn’t greet him the way I used to nor be able to connect with him emotionally or intimately the way I wanted.

I cried at the drop of a hat.

I spent weekends at my mother’s feeling lazy and tired.

Although we had a ‘good Christmas’, things continued to feel flat and I greeted my family with a pasted on smile. The best gifts I’ve ever received were from C, and this Christmas was no exception, yet he felt that he didn’t do a good enough job or that I didn’t recognize his thoughtfulness. Disconnection was spilling out of me. My dear sweet Nana stated that I seemed ‘off’.

In my disconnection I questioned my love for C an energy I’m sure he felt. But what he didn’t know was that I also questioned my love for my family so I knew this was bigger than us; unfortunately, he did not and I was in a fog and unable to communicate it all. But, energy is energy, and everyone was feeling it.

I wasn’t aware just how far I’d fallen and everything that was being impacted as it’s a slow ride downhill and over time, feeling crappy just feels normal.

During the relocation, I was at my Naturopath every week to 2 weeks; she called me the model patient as anything she suggested I did 110%.

We spent thousands of dollars treating everything she suggested.

I was at massage and chiropractic weekly to help with the head pain.

I wanted to be well so desperately that I was willing to try anything, including messy hot oil packs on my abdomen for an hour every 2 days to help treat adrenal fatigue.

Slowly, there were little glimpses of hope; treating my adrenals was helping with some of the overall exhaustion and massage and chiropractic were somewhat helping my head pain.

I became unable to look at myself in the mirror; I didn’t recognize myself physically or emotionally anymore and let my image be something that was only caught by accident in my peripheral vision.

Early January, I went to my Naturopath appointment and demanded that she test my thyroid; I kept bringing it up and nothing was happening.

She replied that she didn’t think we were ‘there’ yet; I told her she was wrong and that we’ve been ‘there’ long before we met.

She ordered the testing and I was hopeful for a bit of weight loss that I couldn’t seem to find on my own and hoped that helping my body image might help other things fall into place.

One day after our breakup, I got my test results.

My Naturopath said she was glad I forced the testing as my thyroid was a ‘mess’ and on January 21, I was diagnosed as hypothyroid.

I started to treat it and even through heartache I immediately began to heal in the deepest way that I have ever experienced.

Here are photos of me (2010, Christmas 2013, 6 weeks later):

Hypothyroidism ruined my relationship

The world seemed full colour!

It was like a switch was literally turned back on in my brain.

I knew the thyroid was responsible for metabolism and I immediately saw changes in my body, but I had assumed all the emotional changes were fleeting and only due to feeling raw and hurt and a bit tuned out from my recent breakup. I was sure I’d be back to being angry and disconnected soon…

Then, a week or 2 later, I noticed one evening that my legs weren’t shaking walking down the stairs anymore and slowly started to piece together that within 2-3 days of treating my thyroid my ankles didn’t hurt upon waking, things at work were no longer making me panic, and I felt more centered and mature and calm than I had felt in a very long time even though I was completely heartbroken.

Nothing continued to make me angry or act irrationally and I wasn’t trying to control anything.

I started to observe that driving daily under a flight path, I no longer feared the planes would fall on me instead, I started to fantasize about getting on those planes and going places again.

Driving thousands of kilometers a month, I went from stressing out to enjoying the gorgeous scenery.

My desires, empathy, creativity, and love of music returned and I was no longer feeling like a shell of the person I used to be.

And the greatest gift of all?

I started laughing again; I didn’t even know it was gone!

I LOVE laughing (and actually used to be pretty funny pre-thyroid disease) and feel my soul healing with every time it escapes my lips.

I was excited to see people again, including C as he drove my belongings down.

This was certainly not the way I’d hoped to see him, but I was still excited to see him, as when all is right in the world, you’re just plain excited to see the people you love (even if the reason sucks).

I couldn’t believe it…

Could my body actually feel pain free because of kicking my thyroid back in?

Is it even possible to cure a decade of depression and anxiety through your thyroid?

It couldn’t be that even the anger that ripped my life apart is completely gone because of treating this too…

And I was shocked at what I found out:

The thyroid is not only responsible for metabolism and sex drive like I had previously thought, but is the center of your emotional wellbeing. It’s the epicenter of your life and is related to your truest expression of self; when your thyroid is off, you literally have a disconnection of self and to others.

I found physical symptoms ranging from infertility, swollen legs, thinning hair, low body temperature and dry skin, to rapid or unexplained weight gain, fatigue, slow reflexes, and body pain. Tinnitus, snoring, yawning all the time to try and get more oxygen, muscle tremors, vertigo, and recurrent sinus infections. Severe menstrual cramps, sleep disturbances, fatigue, dry eyes, significantly calloused heels, and headaches, along with dozens more.

I found emotional/mental symptoms with a list just as long: depression, anxiety, irrationality, mood swings, anger, forgetfulness, behaviours mimicking bipolar, and impaired cognitive ability. The Thyroid Association of Canada prints that, “an underactive thyroid can lead to progressive slowing of mental processes, fading of the personality’s colour and vivacity, general intellectual deterioration, (and) depression with a paranoid flavour. In instances of each condition (hypo and hyper), some persons have been wrongly diagnosed, hospitalized for months, and treated unsuccessfully for psychosis and hypothyroidism often develops insidiously over a considerable time”.

Thyroid Mind Power: The Proven Cure for Hormone-Related Depression, Anxiety, and Memory Loss author Dr. Shames has been quoted as saying: “The number of prescriptions for thyroid medicines now exceeds that for almost any other category of illness and the chance that you might have a thyroid issue is well worth considering, even if you have normal tests… An astonishing 1 in 10 North Americans of all age ranges has some degree of thyroid imbalance and even a mild imbalance can cause severe symptoms”.

“Scientists now consider thyroid hormones one of the major players in brain chemistry disorders. And as with any brain chemical disorder, until treated correctly, thyroid hormone imbalance has serious effects on the patient’s emotions and behavior.” – Dr. Ahem

Out of the 25 million people with Hypothyroidism, less than 10% know about it…

Thyroid issues are becoming more and more common today and everyone from young children to the elderly are being diagnosed. Whether it be today’s stressful life, birth control, flouride, pesticides, food or hundreds more triggers, the thyroid is sensitive and can wreak havoc on your emotional and physical life.

For me, I’ve always lost an insane amount of hair and every hairdresser I’ve had mentions my thyroid and I had my first test before I was 18.

I was first diagnosed with depression and then anxiety (depression with a paranoid flavor) at 21 and spent the next 10 years on and off anti-depression/anxiety medication which never seemed to help.

Last year, I had a psychiatrist I was seeing as part of a panic program continue to try to prescribe me medication citing that I must have never been on a high enough dose if it wasn’t helping.

I had my last Doctor issued thyroid test a year ago which came back again ‘low but within normal range’. Current ranges for thyroid health are very broad and I would have been diagnosed years ago using the Naturopathic ranges.

My tests were not low enough to catch a Doctor’s eye and yet my symptoms were severe and took a huge toll on my life and relationship and I have learned that you can ONLY have your best life when you’re physically and emotionally able to show up in wellness.

To be living in such a tuned out state and resurface into clarity just as my relationship is crumbling at my feet has been the most difficult journey of my life. Because of the mental fog, I have little memories of being unable to connect over the past few months and now that I feel fully conscious, have tons of mental availability and space, and life feels 100% easier, the person I want to connect with most is gone and a large void has been left in its place.

I continue to be in shock at the toll that this has taken on my life, but as a Coach, I will (not always gracefully)

sit in the space of trust that,

although I feel that I’ve lost my everything,

I will find a powerful way through this and heal deeply by being as healthy as I can be.

And quite possibly, healthier than I’ve been in over 10 years…

About Robyn Guidon

Robyn Guidon is a 3 time certified coach whose life and business has been greatly affected by undiagnosed hypothyroidism. Robyn is healing and rebuilding in the sunny Okanagan, British Columbia, Canada.

www.robynguidon.com

https://www.facebook.com/robynguidoncoaching

www.twitter.com/robyn_girl

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About Dana Trentini

Who knew that little butterfly-shaped thyroid gland at the base of my neck could affect my life so completely? I founded Hypothyroid Mom in memory of the unborn baby I lost to hypothyroidism. Winner of two 2014 WEGO Health Activist Awards: Health Activist Hero & Best In Show Twitter. *Hypothyroid Mom includes Affiliate links. Connect with me on Google+

Comments

  1. I cried all the way through this. I’ve finally found a doctor who will work with me on thyroid, adrenal, perimenopause issues. I haven’t got the test results back yet, but I am hopeful. I can’t actually feel hope, unfortunately, because I can’t really feel anything but anger and agitated sadness, but I know the hope exists. Thanks so much for sharing this. It underscores my hopefulness.

    • Kim, I’m so happy you found a good doctor open to testing thyroid, adrenal and sex hormones because they are all intricately connected and important pieces of the thyroid puzzle. I have my fingers crossed is the doctor who will get you well again. All the best to you.

    • Hi Kim!
      I am so glad you’re continuing to seek help! I understand the ‘not being able to feel’ symptom all too well! Its such a bizarre sensation to be trapped inside your body and mind.I pray that you find answers and have healing soon!
      Xo

  2. Brandy Estes says:

    What na inspirational story. I would love to know what the treatment was….thanks for sharing!

  3. Brandy Estes says:

    What an inspirational story. I would love to know what the treatment was….thanks for sharing!

    • Hi Brandy, I just reached out to the writer of this post Robyn to come over and share the treatment that worked for her. I agree her story is inspiring.

    • Hi Brandy,
      Sorry, I was traveling today and unavailable…
      I’m on a natural thyroid from the Naturopath (I think it’s usually pig hormone?).
      The active ingredient on the bottle is “thyroid” and that’s it!

      • Concerned Loved One says:

        I’m surprised that the big revelation here ended up being dried and powdered pig thyroid glands?! I’m super happy it worked for you!

        Is there still the large range of hormone concentrations and potency found in these alternative medications? If one is already being treated with levothyroxine (synthroid), but still suffering symptoms, is it possible that NDT might have a better/bigger effect? How would one know which of the many products out there to buy? (Safety and effectiveness being the biggest concerns given the lack of involvement by the FDA.)

        Forgive my skepticism, but I hope you are also able to perceive the honest interest.

        • Hi Concerned Loved One. Levothyroxin didn’t work for me at all. I was nervous to try desiccated thyroid because of the rumors of unreliability, but I’ve heard that those rumors were largely the result of a smear campaign started by the makers of T4-only drugs like Synthroid and Levoxyl. According to an interview I heard on NPR a few years back, doctors learn most, if not all, of their drug information from drug reps, or at Big Pharma sponsored conventions. Being so sick and figuring I had nothing to lose, I made the switch to Erfa desiccated thyroid and I’m so glad I did. :)

  4. Julie Breen says:

    It shouldn’t be that way. Just because your sick, somone shouldn’t give up on you.

    • Julie, I agree with you that it shouldn’t be that way. It’s sad for those in this situation.

    • Hi Julie,
      Thanks for reading!
      We didn’t know I was sick and I have no judgement towards C for setting limits on how I behaved (we were long distance as well and I was literally not showing up and connecting and talking [except to get mad about something]).

  5. Patricia Kelly says:

    I cannot tell you how bad I felt on reading this. I have been this way for at least the last nine years. I am worn out with it all. My husband has had to put up with my not being in the relationship one minute and crying over him leaving me the next. I too love my husband but don’t have the energy to try put things right. He has stuck by me despite what he says that I am the moodiest person he has ever known. He says he knows I am ill. When we go out to dinner he jokes with the waiters that my wife needs the children’s menu! He knows i am not eating enough to warrant my current weight. My TSH is 4 T3 is 2.15 and my T4 is 16. I am so tired and worn out. I went on a diet so many times it is beyond a joke. So many aches and pains. Headaches, sinus problems, eye problems etc etc. My doctor of 18 /montha tells me i don’t have thyroid problems despite it being in my family. If you can get help it seems to improve lives but i cant get help. God if i have to live like this for the next 20 years i might as well be dead now. And NO for the umpteenth time i do not have depression. I know its my thyroid. Sorry for the rant.

    • Patricia, I do not personally feel well at a TSH of 4. Please read thyroid advocate Mary Shomon’s article where she writes: “More innovative doctors are beginning to believe that a TSH of around 1 – 2 — in the low end of the normal range — is optimal for most people to feel well and avoid having hypothyroid or hyperthyroid symptoms. Similarly, some practitioners feel that optimal hypothyroidism treatment includes Free T4 in the top half of the normal range, and Free T3 in the top 25th percentil of the normal range.”

      http://thyroid.about.com/cs/hypothyroidism/a/notwell.htm

    • Patricia,
      YES! It’s so horrible to be feeling this way and have no one listen!
      Keep following your instincts and fighting for yourself. There is hope on the other side…
      agree with Dana and I’ve read that most people don’t start feeling ok until they’re under 2 or 2.5…

  6. Gena Hisch says:

    I am also experiencub g everything almost to each word in thia story. My problem is that u have run through so many doctors who refuse to adjust my medication because they say my levels are are normal even if they are in the low end. I am exhausted, depressed, and feel crazy. I would like to know what you did differently and what your treatment was. Signed heart broken and over it.

  7. Gena Hisch says:

    I am also experiencing everything almost to each word in this story. My problem is that i have run through so many doctors who refuse to adjust my medication because they say my levels are are normal even if they are in the low end. I am exhausted, depressed, and feel crazy. I would like to know what you did differently and what your treatment was. Signed heart broken and over it.

  8. I am so glad at the ending of this story and that she is well and healing. The photos tell a lot as well, amazing how well and ‘back to her normal self’ she looks only 6 weeks after treatment. Awesome!

    best of luck to you, you are an inspiration, Molly

  9. Thank you! My heart is deeply touched by your story. The ramifications of this disease are significant in my life as well. This has inspired me to write my story.

  10. This is the closest story/experience to my own that I’ve read anywhere so far. It’s uncanny. I too am grieving over the ashes of the last few years and trying my best to focus on the good and the future I have now thanks to self-treating with NDT. But I admit so much regret over losing my last relationship to untreated hashis, it’s enough to make you crazy, like, why couldn’t the timing have been better, why didn’t I get diagnosed and discover NDT while we were still together? But, we cannot live in the past. Thank you for sharing your story, I feel for you and I will keep you in my prayers :)

  11. Wow. Thank you for telling your story. You are blessed to have found the source of your illness. Whenever someone’s personality changes due to undiagnosed illness, I have found that it is natural for some to react with rejection or take personally the strange changes. You are generous to share your story. Thank you.

    • Thank you for commenting Johann.

    • Thanks for the comment Johann! I absolutely agree with you…when your partner has no idea what’s going on, he (and me) just thinks this is who he’s going to be with and it’s not pretty! I had assumed that I’d need years of therapy to deal with depression anxiety and anger and let him know that I supported his decision as he deserves better than that (without knowing it was illness related).

  12. I Also cried Reading This. I Was Diagnosed Hypo At Age 20 After The Birth Of My First Child. I Have Been On Synthroid For 24 Years But I Am Now experiencing All Of These Symptoms! Anger Being TheWorst (Recently Diagnosed W/ Another Lifelong Disease). I Have Become So Irrational And Moody I Don’t Even Know Myself Anymore. My Loving, caring, Supportive Husband Is On The Verge Of Givin Up…..And I Don’t Blame Him. He Took The Initiative And Called My Doctor (Which Made Me So Angry) And Asked About Doing Bloodwork To See If My Thyroid Is Out Of Wack Again, which I Know It Is. Waiting On Results Now. Unfortunately He Did Not Order An Antibody Or T3, Only Tsh And T4 So We Will See. Thank You For Sharing Your Story So Other’s Can See It Isn’t Always As Simple As “Oh She/he Is Crazy” I’M Happy You Have Regained Control Over Your Health And Life!

  13. Many people think that negative effects of hypothyroidism are limited to only physical symptoms such as fatigue, weight gain and low metabolism. However, for many people the emotional and mood-related symptoms due to lack of thyroid hormones can be more severe than the physical ones or even the only sign of a thyroid problem.

    Emotional symptoms are often overlooked and can have a devastating effect on health outcomes, social support perception and health of your relationships. If you think that hypothyroidism and autoimmune Hashimoto’s disease affected your relationships with your family and friends you can share your experience by participating in Thyroid Research Study http://outsmartdisease.com/help-hashimotos-research-to-improve-lives-of-thyroid-patients

    • Thanks Marina. I’ll take a look at your thyroid research study.

    • Karrie K Reesman says:

      Please tell me specifically what helped you with the anger, moodiness, etc. I am desparate to help our daughter who has congenital hypothyroidism and has taken synthroid since she was 9 days old. She suffers greatly at school with these hortible symptons you descibed. It affects her conduct which affects how certain teachers treat her as well as some of her classmates. It is heart breaking too watch her go through this yesr after year and shes only in 3rd grade. Please, do you have any advice?

  14. Great article! I wish her the very best. Even finding the, hopefully “best doctor” takes time when you are in the process of building the adrenals so the correct medicine works the best that it can in the body. I am practicing great patience as I understand more and more. I thought just getting on meds would help but my MD is taking it very slow in order to provide me with the best outcome. I really appreciate this and am trusting him, but when it has been sooo long it can be very frustrating, esp when you read these articles and see that you are still with these symptoms despite very low doses of T3 meds. Grateful that I am at least getting there and hope the same for everyone here. Gave my husband the article to read so he would understand his/our life. Says it all!
    Thank you Dana for hosting this space to find comfort from.

  15. Jean Carlson says:

    Reading this was like looking at my life over the past twenty years. Recently I have had panic attacks, severe headaches, joint pain, swelling, fatigue, mental fog and a disconnected feeling, not getting excited about anything almost as if I am just “here”, I have also had rapid weight increase. I went to see my family doctor and he told me that since I was originally hyperthyroid then had radiation done which in turn made me hypothyroid that all the hypothyroid symptoms did not relate to me. This is the first time I have ever heard a doctor tell me this! This cannot be right! He told me that since I am currently in the “normal” range that I can lay my thyroid issues to rest. He claims the symptoms I described have nothing to do with the thyroid. I am very discouraged and feel that they are related to my thyroid!

  16. This person is so lucky that her treatment seems to be working. I’m medicated, my blood values are “within norm” but I’m 20 lbs heavier, always either sad or angry, my sex drive is nonexistent. I won’t go on. Still I am happy that there are people for which the therapy works. All the best.

  17. Hi Julie,
    Thanks for reading!
    We didn’t know I was sick and I have no judgement towards C for setting limits on how I behaved (we were long distance as well and I was literally not showing up and connecting and talking [except to get mad about something]).

  18. You cannot know how thankful I am for this article! I totally recognize all of the symptoms and incorrect thinking thrown a person’s way because of a messed up thyroid. I have been told that I am “overly sensitive” when I react with hurt feelings over someone joking about my weight. I was in a room with 10 of my friends and we were talking about our weight gain. I had lost 20 pounds last fall when I had severe infection in a tooth. Of course I gained all the weight back once I could eat again…and that weight loss was over a 2 month period of not being able to eat anything more than broth because of the infection in my tooth. One of the ladies blurted out after I lamented over gaining the weight back, “Oh, you must have a thyroid problem”. Everyone of the women hee hawed over that statement for the rest of the afternoon. I must have heard the same insult blurted out at least 20 times that afternoon, even after I explained that I have Grave’s Disease and yes, it is a thyroid problem. Even my very best friend joined in the “good natured” laughter AT MY EXPENSE.
    After reading Robyn’s heartrending story, I now know without a doubt that this is something I cannot wish away. My thyroid was irradiated with nuclear medicine to basically kill my thyroid 8 yrs ago…that served to throw me from HYPER-THYROIDISM into HYPO. I have taken Synthroid for those 8 years and have put on 60 pounds. I feel miserable, and bloated and I too, cannot bear to look at myself in the mirror. I think what hurts the most is how uneducated people are about the human body, and how easy it is to make snap judgments on a person’s size or on their emotions. I am not overly sensitive. I have a thyroid disease and when my thyroid is out of wack, my emotions are more on the surface. I am sad, but not depressed. Thank you for writing about your life, and sharing with us all. Now I understand the why’s of my condition and it serves to help me be more compassionate to other people who might be considered “overly sensitive”. I appreciate all of the thyroid articles you post here. My endocrinologist bills me $100 for every 15 minutes she spends with me, so explanations of my disease are short and my knowledge is limited. Your story hurt me for you, but also made me cheer FOR you, and for me, and for all who are mislabeled due to our limitations as imperfect human beings…with imperfect bodies. Thanks so very much!

    • fully fustrated says:

      I was diagnosed with Graves disease in 2004 when pregnant witb my child. I had became allergic to the medication and had my thyroid taken out in 2006. I am now overactive and taking levothyroxine 175mgs daily. I feel horrible and psychotic all the time and my daughter and partner walk round on egg shells. I feel as no one understands not even my family they just tell me to “think positive”. As if that helps. I would like to try something else but in the UK they only use thyroxine. I cannot gain weight and currently weigh 8st 4lb also I am trying for a baby and after a yr am having fertility tests. I dont think i can cope like this im only 31 just want to be like everyone else.
      I hope we all get the help we need as nobody takes thyroid problems seriously.

  19. Wow, I’m in tears reading this. I was Dx with Graves disease about 10-15 years ago, then I was told it reversed to hypo. I have never taken my thyroid medication as ordered because I didn’t like the way it made me feel. However about a year and a half I have been taken levothyroxine daily as ordered, only to gain about 50 pounds, my body hurt like crazy on a daily basis and my husband tells me I’m “a mean lady, I’m overly sensitive, I over react for no reason.” The list goes on. We have not even been married two years and already he tells me that I am not the happy, loving woman that he married. I know what he is saying is true. I can’t stand to look at myself due to all the weight gain. I’ve tried everything from carb cycling, to clean eating and working out only to continue to gain weight. My thyroid labs are in normal limits so my regular doctor said it was not my thyroid. Finally I asked him to refer me to an endocrinologist. Friday was my first visit the new doctor. He switched my thyroid medication, and would like for me to try it for 4 weeks. He also says that he believes that I now have hashimotos, but he did not order labs to check until four weeks from now. I’m praying that this medication help me. I am tired of being tired, sad and in pain.

  20. Thank you for sharing. I have been dealing with thyroid disease for many years before original diagnosis. I was first hypothyroid, put on armour and felt much better for awhile. However, at the time I knew virtually nothing about the disease. After being on it for a year and a half, I suddenly lost about 40 pounds very quickly with no effort on my part and felt very off, mentally. I went to my doctor several times over about a four month period. The first time she told me “that’s great that you lost the weight” but did no thyroid retesting. (I now know weight loss is a classic symptom of being hyperthyroid and should have been an immediate red flag for a doc who understands this disease) The next time I saw her I had been suicidal. I was told I needed to see a therapist. I absolutely knew she was wrong and told her so. She finally ran the TSH, FT3 and FT4. The next day she called me with the results, I was so extremely hyperthyroid and she immediately took me off all meds. At that time, I started researching and discovered I had every symptom listed for being hyperthyroid. About six months later she finally referred me to an endo, which took several more months for an appt. but I finally got answers. I am hyperthyroid and have Graves’ disease. I am very sensitive to ALL medications, herbs, etc. she wanted to put me on a high dose of methimazole. I refused and switched docs again. I found someone who was willing to hear me (for awhile anyway). He allowed me to start slower and build up. I had reactions so we played with dosages. I fear if I had taken the large dose ordered by the endo I would not be alive today knowing now how I reacted to the smaller dosage. Eventually, I tolerated it for a year or so…then off again. For about two years now I have been on an herbal formula from my naturopath called Thyrocalm. I still have my ups and downs and we have to adjust accordingly but I am doing so much better on this product. Having thyroid disease is exhausting. I wish all sufferers healing. I keep wondering why is it that so many of us have this disease now. Thanks again for sharing your story. It gives voice to all of us.

  21. I like many others cried reading this. It felt like for once I was not the only one having such feelings. I have hypo, and have gained 50+ pounds in the last two years. I run 30+ miles a week, ran a marathon just a few months ago, etc and still no loss. I cry, feel angry, and hate myself more and more every day. As a wife, and parent it is crippling at times, and not the image I want to convey to my family. I’m on my medicine, so I’m at a loss as to what I do. My PCP says my numbers are within the normal range, however how I feel, and look is nothing but normal. It’s to the point where its too painful to run. I walk more, and have shut down in so many ways. Anything you can suggest?

  22. Dana, I am desperate. Cardiologist dx with hypo only know aldostherone number was 60 put me on 50 mcg generic synthroid and I can;t stop loosing weight. Averaging a pound a day down to 113 look emaciated. Earliest endo is April 28th at this rate I wonder if I will be around. Everything I read says weight gain with hypo I am at my wit’s and health’s end.

    • That sounds like me in 2009. I weighed 100 lbs at 5’6″, was suicidally depressed, having daily panic attacks, hair falling out, and looked awful. Doctors kept telling me my thyroid was normal but my free T3 was just above normal at 2.34, still they wouldn’t treat me and said I had fibromyalgia. I finally got dx with hypo in 2010, but by that time the undiagnosed Hashimoto’s had caused thyroid cancer and I had to have a thyroidectomy. :( It took a long time after that to get my hormones balanced, but now I don’t ache horribly and have all the other terrible symptoms of thyroid disease. I’m on Erfa desiccated thyroid and feeling really good. Neither Synthroid nor Levoxyl worked for me. I hope you find answers soon. Maybe a doctor of osteopathy would be better, that’s who finally helped me. Good luck to you, Nan!

      • Thanks so much for responding! I thought the weight loss was not part of being hypo. My cardio saw me Thursday after I called and they sat down and explained everything including my number. My TSH was 6.47. She ordered a full thyroid panel : T3, T4, and free T3’s. She told me she would treat me so I can have access to her 24/7 and every endo in my area wouldn’t even listen to me or put me on a cancellation list and the staff were so rude. I feel better about things now especially finding out from you and dr that weight loss can be a symptom. I also have a heart issue and she prefers to deal with my meds to prevent my cardio problems be affected. Again thanks for the reply, I felt like I am on a roller coaster to nowhere. A last question, I worry that the weight will all hit me and I will have that battle to deal with as I weighed 168 a year and a half ago. Best of luck, Nan

        • At one point I rebounded with my weight and got up to 153, but when I got balanced again I dropped almost 20 lbs and it seems to be easy to stay at 134, although I would probably like to loose another 7 lbs, but I’m not so worried about it now. The worst part was when I weighed 100 lbs. It’s scary when you keep losing weight!

  23. I bawled all the way through this. My husband has had such a hard time dealing with the mood swings and anger I have been going through for the last 2 years, especially after we miscarried last November. I have had my thyroid tested every 6 months since I was 17 (I’m now 24), because of family history and horrible menstrual symptoms. I have always been told that it was “normal”. Until recently, I never knew what “normal” actually meant. After I lost my pregnancy I started looking into it more and found out that my TSH Level has bee hovering around a 4-4.2 for years. Finally I have found a Dr. that is willing to treat me for this and I am so hopeful that we can get it under control and I can see some of these same results.
    This site has been a lifesaver to me. It’s great to know you aren’t alone.

  24. What type of doctor did you find that was open and listening to these issues? My doctor has me on anti-depressants and anxiety Meds – which help but I still feel the disconnect.

  25. I have just found out that I have Hashimotos Disease and have been looking for information. Love this blog. Thank you so much.

  26. Bambi Blair says:

    Trying to get my husband to read this blog before our marriage is trashed. Wonderful, wonderful man. We been happily married 20 years with the last few being for sh#%. He just has no clue. Trying to find a Doctor who will work with me and not just the ranges. Crazy, exhausted, the list goes on and this doesn’t begin to describe what life is like. Don’t freak when I say this, but I wish it was terminal and it was time to go on and see what’s next. My GP checked me for at least 3 years and said I was low, but normal. My Gyn wanted me to take some supplements and sent me to a special Pharmacist who actually asked me questions and got the right tests order from Gyn. Hello hypothyroid! I’m 5 years post dx and feel a little better, but exiguous would be more like it.
    I’m glad you’ve got your life back and not just a life. I wish I could say I’m hopeful that some day I may have my life, but I’m really tired and just wish this was over. Just having another bad day. Sorry for the rant. Thank you.

  27. This could have been me writing this…my relationship deteriorated due to my hypothyroidism and I was so confused – i didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. I have sobbed all the way through reading this as I feel so ripped off and cheated by this condition and moreso by not having it diagnosed sooner. In hindsight I’ve been hypo most of my life and only in the past six months have I found a functional medicine doctor who knew what he was doing. While I feel bitter and frustrated, I am now the best I’ve ever been, but I still mourn at the death of the best relationship (beautiful man) I ever had. He just couldn’t cope with the depressed, anxious, moody, and angry women I was any longer. I wish all those with this condition self love and healing. This is so profound. Thank you for publishing this story. X

  28. Please….. Can anyone tell me their experience with NatureThroid? I have been on it about 3 months now and not feeling any better.
    Thanks,

  29. You’re on your way back! Congratulations! So am I!!! It feels great to feel alive again. But I had to fight with countless doctors before I found one who could dx me correctly. No more useless meds for pain, depression, anxiety, sleep, viral infections, IBS, etc., just desiccated thyroid and I’m good to go.

    I’m sorry for the loss of your relationship.

  30. Hey Robyn,
    I too have hypothyroidism I was diagnosed soon after my daughter was born almost 14 years ago. I have been on the same dosage since. I STILL have all the issues to this day. My attitude sucks, my hair falls out, I am always tired, my bones/joints ache all the time. I have no idea what my T levels are, I hope to go and get blood work done again, but they will just tell me everything is normal and continue on your meds. I have lost and gained the same 20lbs for years. I exercise everyday I do just about every exercise that is offered at our community center. All the ladies are loosing weight and looking good and saying how much they have lost and I just reply I guess I found every ones poundage lost. It is awful I feel like a terrible person. I am very quick to get angry at my daughter, I don’t know what to do.. I live in Tennessee and have no idea what Doctors to go to and to trust to help me without breaking my bank account. I just want answers and to be happy again. I pray every night for that…. Well, thank your for your story and I am thrilled that I might find help too…

    • Hi Amy, I’m in Tennessee too and trying to find a doctor around here that will take this seriously. If I find someone, I’ll try to remember to come back here and let you know!

      • Amy, you might want to contact Innovative Medical Solutions in Nashville, TN. They are helping me with my thyroid issue. They are the only place I could find around here that is taking me seriously. Good luck!

        • Hi Sarah, thanks for sharing. I’m always looking for good doctors to share with readers. Is your doctor at this location open to thyroid treatment options including T3 and natural desiccated thyroid?

          • Sorry for the very long delay responding to this question – a lot of stuff has happened on my journey to health. Shortly after posting my previous comment, I had a surgery to remove breast implants that I’d started to suspect had contributed to my illness. The recovery was harder than any of my previous surgeries, perhaps because my health is worse than it’s ever been. Unfortunately, removing the implants wasn’t the amazing improvement I’d hoped for, but I am glad to have most of the silicone out of my body now.

            To answer your question, the doctor I’m seeing in Nashville is currently focusing on healing my adrenal glands and immune system before tackling my thyroid. So I am not on any thyroid medications yet, even many months after being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s. I’m on many supplements and a nutrition plan to restore my adrenals to normal function and calm down my immune system (it is overreacting to everything). “Armor Thyroid” – is this desiccated thyroid? I really don’t know about the medications yet – is recommended after my cortisol and hormone levels are normal.

            I’m still learning a lot about all this, but I definitely recommend Innovative Medical Solutions in Franklin, TN (sorry I said Nashville before, but they are just south of Nashville) because they really are the only ones that are taking me seriously that something is wrong. They run a lot of tests and are very thorough. And yes, they seem open-minded to many treatment options – the surgeon who removed my implants put me on an experimental and controversial treatment to regulate my immune system and to my surprise, Innovative Medical Solutions was knowledgeable about it and easily accepted that I’m on it, even though it’s not something they prescribe. I have to drive a distance to see them, but it’s worth it. I was fed up with local doctors telling me everything is “normal” and offering me anti-depressants when I felt like I was dying! There is nothing more frustrating than being scared for your life and the professionals saying there’s nothing wrong. There are thousands of things that can go haywire in the body – they check just a few of those things, decide it’s all in your head, and send you home. What a tragedy.

            Anyway, I still have a long way to go to get well again, but at least someone is finally listening to me and doing something.

  31. Hi Robyn,
    Thanks for sharing your story. It is my story as well in so many ways, especially now as the feelings of anhedonia grow stronger the longer I go without finding proper thyroid support. I’m curious how long you’ve been on the thyroid supplement. My experience has been that it helps for about 6 weeks and then the effect slowly begins to fade. I have to go off it for a while and then start all over again. There is so much I could say about how hard it is to live with thyroid dysfunction, but you know all too well, so I won’t go into it.
    Glad you’re feeling better,
    Yvette

  32. As i read your story all i kept saying that’s me im on Armour now an not getting any better worse in my opinion . Thank You for sharing your story i know there is light at the end of this dark tunnel its just finding the right dr.

    • Hi Darlene. Have you had your iron levels checked? Here are the four iron labs to get tested: 1. Ferritin; 2. % Saturation; 3. TIBC; 4. serum iron (sometimes called “Iron”, or “total iron”). When I first started Erfa (Canada’s version of Armour) I had trouble because my iron levels were very low, so I ended up feeling worse. It took me about 4 months to correct it with liquid iron supplementation, and then the NDT worked great. Armour also won’t work well if you have adrenal fatigue, or if your dose is insufficient. Do you know your Free T3, Free T4, Reverse T3, and TSH levels?

      • my labs Thyroxine (T40 free, Direct, S 1.02
        TSH 0.078 Low
        Triiodothyronine. free, serum 3.2

        Thank you answering me iam about to give up cant get the help i will ask my dr for the tests you mentioned .

        • Darlene, your triiodothyronine, or Free T3, is only 3.2. I don’t feel well unless mine is at least 4.0. From what I’ve read, most people feel better when their free T3 is near the top of their lab’s normal range. For example, my labs normal range is 2.0 – 4.4. Free T4, from what I’ve read, could also be near the top of the range. I’m not a doctor, but this is what I’ve read, and it seems to be very true for me.

  33. I am married to a woman with hypothyroidism and our relationship is really gone down the tubes lately. No passion, no fire, no sex. This has been for almost 2 years. We have constant arguments about the lack of affection. I try to understand her issues and illness. The falling asleep when watching a show. It has gotten so bad that I am contemplating divorce. I love her very much. I have my needs. I am not trying to be selfish, i think everyone needs that feeling of being wanted. Can someone give me another option to help my situation?

    • In response to Brock: I agree with Tamra, help your wife get through this. Do the research, get her the help she needs, do not give up on her. That woman you fell in love with is in there somewhere but it’s the disease that’s taking over that you see. I remember my sister being present for one of the fights I had with my husband and she was so shocked at what she saw. She said I couldn’t believe how loud your voice was and how angry you were and the fact that you took your ring off and said you were done and to watch him just hold you and when you pushed he pulled and to hear him say he loves you and he knows its not you, that you don’t mean what you are saying and that he knows you love him…was incredible. If I was in his shoes I would’ve probably fought back or cried, no responded with love and laughter and hugs and “oh silly you don’t mean that.” I think back to how many times my husband could’ve given up on me and I am so thankful that he helps me and that he makes me feel beautiful and works with me.

      Please if you love your wife, work with her, help her, make her feel like it’s her or nothing.

      • Suzanne says:

        Sarah you are a very luck women that you have a supportive husband that is there for you threw all of this who helps you and makes you feel beautiful!! I am so jealous! I myself am hypothyroid and have no support what so ever from my husband ! If anything he makes it 10 times worse ! All he does is put me down and call me the crazy one! This is His cop out blaming my thyroid disease on our problems.. So typical !! We have 4 kids I’m always home by myself with them while he does his thing!! I’m pretty much on my own ..I feel so alone ! If anything he is being selfish threw all of this because it’s turning into his needs and wants ..We all have needs and wants not only men have sexual needs ! So in closing be thankful for your supportive husband that he didn’t give up on you! Mine did on me and we are done ! Be well this thyroid disease sure does suck!

        • Hi Suzanne, I am a different Sarah, not the one you were writing to… but I wanted to comment on this if there’s any chance it helps. This is probably going to come across as sexist and shocking, so try to keep an open mind. A few years ago I stumbled across some CDs by Alison Armstrong called “Celebrating Men” in which she explains a lot about gender differences. It made all the difference in my marriage! We are now very happy, even as I’ve gotten sicker over the past few years and didn’t understand why. I listened to every interview, video, article, etc by Alison Armstrong and she explains that sex is like a food group for men. Along with protein, carbs, and fat, they also need sex – it is not their fault; they have 16x more testosterone affecting their brain (probably even more than that if you consider women with thyroid problems have hormone issues). If we feel like we have sexual needs, try to imagine what it feels like multiplied by 16! (In fact, I have even heard statistics as high as 30x more.) As I became more compassionate about my husband’s sex drive, instead of annoyed by it, it helped our marriage immensely. We make sure to have sex regularly even when I don’t feel well, and it truly is worth it. It helps him calm down and handle his stress better, and then he is able to express more love and tenderness towards me and is more willing to help me (with the housework, kids, etc). My illness is stressful for him, too; I’m not the only one suffering because of it. Helping him mitigate his stress helps both of us. I know it must sound ridiculous, but sometimes ridiculous things actually work. Good luck.

        • Suzanne, I’m sorry to hear all you’ve been through. Hypothyroidism absolutely can affect our personal relationships. Wishing you all the best.

  34. Hello Brock! I’m a woman who has struggled with hypothyroidism. I know it must be very difficult for you right now, but please don’t leave. Remember that this is temporary and your wife can get well again. I was sick for 6 years and my husband stood by me, but I know it must have been very difficult for him. We just celebrated our 11th anniversary, and I’ve been well for about a year now. You can help your wife get better by researching websites like Stop The Thyroid Madness, or Mary Shomon. Their is a path to wellness so please don’t give up hope. :)

  35. my labs Thyroxine (T4) free, Direct, S 1.02
    TSH 0.078 Low
    Triiodothyronine. free, serum 3.2

    Thank you for answering me iam about to give up cant get the help i will ask my dr for the tests you mentioned .

  36. Darlene, your triiodothyronine, or Free T3, is only 3.2. I don’t feel well unless mine is at least 4.0. From what I’ve read, most people feel better when their free T3 is near the top of their lab’s normal range. For example, my labs normal range is 2.0 – 4.4. Free T4, from what I’ve read, could also be near the top of the range. I’m not a doctor, but this is what I’ve read, and it seems to be very true for me.

  37. I cried reading this too. My husband and I met in 2011 when I was slim and everything was fine until the beginning of 2012 when I started to gain weight and I thought it was me. We married in December 2012 and January 2013 I did not get a period. I felt so hormonal everyone thought I was for sure pregnant even my husband would rub my tummy saying he hopes I’m getting false negatives. I was tired all the time, I could wake up at 12 and feel like I need more sleep and it hurt to even talk. My doctor said he commended me for even getting up and going to work. In March I went to a gyno who suggested testing my thyroid and prolactin but unfortunately only ordered TSH. My TSH came back 19! And my prolactin was high too. My PCP put me on Synthyroid (I also took levothyroxine) when I came back a month later I remember the first thing he asked me was how do you feel and I told him I don’t feel any different and he said well that’s odd because your results came back fine your TSH is down to 4.2 so you can diet and exercise and should see results. But nothing. And of course you get “well your results are fine maybe you are just not eating well or exercising”. I have to admit though, I would exercise but then lose my motivation and stop and think “what’s the point”. I saw another doctor in October 2013 who prescribed a hormone pill (Can’t remember the name) that made me have a period each month for three months and so far I have had two periods come by itself with no hormone meds. But as for my thyroid no change. Feel so tired it hurts, I have excruciating back and neck pain, head aches, infertility, mood swings, weight gain (I’m sick of myself), and the list goes on. I cried looking at clothes I was wearing in 2011 when I met my husband and how I look now with stretch marks like a woman who just had a baby. I’ve gained 50+ lbs. Its sickening literally. I actually just got lab work done today (Free T3, Free T4, TPO, TSH, RT3). My doc wanted only TSH but I asked for the rest inc ase I need 2nd opinions. Waiting on the results and going to see the doctor next week. I already told him I want to be on Armour since levothyroxine hasn’t helped. Just thinking of how much my husband has had to put up with upsets me because that’s not me. And I cried like a baby (before we knew what was wrong) when he said to me “your not yourself, you used to have so much energy you used to love life you used to take such good care of yourself, I love you no matter what but I am worried about your health.” And all I could think is “why am I crying so easily” “what’s wrong with me” “I don’t want to feel like this anymore” and so much more.

    I wish you all the best of luck and truly hope you’re all able to find the right help because I feel your pain and wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It really sucks the life and joy out of a person :(

    • Amanda Athanas says:

      Sarah, the fact your doctor did so many thyroid tests beyond just the TSH seems to indicate he/she may be “up on some things,” especially since the RT3 test was done. You probably have your results back by now, but I hope you look online for info about what to do if your RT3 is high and/or your ratio of RT3 to Free T3 is “off,” i.e., try Wilson’s Protocol or T3-only treatment. Taking Levo (T4) can lead to developing RT3 imbalance, which causes your body to negate the T3 your T4 converts to, resulting in “normal” TSH (and other) thyroid tests, yet symptoms continue and hypothyroidism is actually still going on in your body even if serum tests look normal.

      One thing that has helped me is taking iron supplements and eating more iron-containing foods (meats and plant-based iron-containing foods), and trying to either add T3 (liothyronine) to my Nature-Throid. Nature-Throid is like Armour. Soon I want to switch to time-released compounded T3, and slowly increase doses (under my PROGRESSIVE endo’s supervision) b/c that sometimes works for ppl.

      I didn’t realize before that ppl can develop low iron levels just from having low stomach acid and that taking hydrochloric acid with meals containing protein can reverse that, allowing for proper absorption of iron. When you have low iron, you can develop hypothyroidism just from THAT, not counting all the other things that can cause it (such as stress, cortisol problems (whether high or low or vascillating).

      So I would look into adding some T3 (even if it’s the synthetic Cytomel) to your Armour (although Armour has SOME T3), so flush out the possible collection of RT3 in your system. I would look into getting iron into your body (supplements and food), and look into HCl (hydrochloric acid). Look for instructions online on HOW TO dose HCl properly and when to take it. I have read it should be avoided at meals when those meals do not contain much protein, and that if stomach/intestinal pain develops, the dosing should be immediately reduced.

      I know you are looking forward to a high enough dose of Armour, but be forewarned that over time, you can still develop RT3 problems with Armour or Nature-Throid or West Throid or WP Thyroid (all are dessicated), so looking into T3 as an ADDITION to your NDT can be helpful, and some ppl find switching to T3 ONLY helps even more. Some folks also find that when they supplement with T3, they don’t need AS MUCH of their NDT. Also, many people are getting on the compounded, time-released T3 protocol. If you take your temperature and it is below 97.4 each time, you may have developed an RT3 problem. There are so many causes of RT3 problems, one of them being undue life stress that is unrelenting.

      One thing I have learned is there are Endocrinologists and PROGRESSIVE Endocrinologists (hard to find). Many regular endos have not even heard of RT3 problems, or T3-only protocol, or Wilson’s Protocol – that’s sad! Sometimes it takes going to a naturopath versus any kind of endo if your town doesn’t have any PROGRESSIVE endos. Sometimes a good naturopath can deal with thyroid/adrenal issues.

      Also of note, Fibromyalgia is now being linked to Hypothyroidism. IOW, those with undertreated Hypo may eventually develop Fibro, and the two diseases have almost IDENTICAL symptom lists.

  38. Oh this story was both heartbreaking and inspirational. Thank you, Robyn, for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you as you mend from the breakup.

    There were several things in your story that really struck a chord with me. I’ve had unexplained pulsing pain in my head for a while now, and in the past six months or so I started to worry about whether I would wake up the next morning. That is such a scary place to live, especially when you have a family (kids) that depend on you being there in the morning to take care of them.

    I actually ended up in the ER a week ago because my head pain became so intense. A brain scan showed everything was normal, which was an enormous relief. Thank goodness the ER doc checked my thyroid – my regular doctor never would have; he just kept telling me I’m depressed. I’m currently looking for a new doctor because my regular one won’t even do the full thyroid panel, even after the ER labs showed my TSH is 6… he said that is normal and don’t worry until it gets to 10. This is the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.

    Your story gave me hope, particularly how FAST you noticed an improvement, even though you were in the midst of crushing emotional pain.

    • P.S. Just to clarify, my trip to the ER was also because I thought I was having a heart attack… It was the combination of an intense headache AND chest pain with a fluttering heart that finally drove me to take action by going to the emergency room on a weekend when my regular doctor was closed. I feel certain my regular doctor would not have done anything about it anyway.

      Not that this tidbit of information really matters, but I just wanted to be totally honest.

  39. Hi Robyn, Thank you for sharing your story. I relate so fully to the “gray” area you were living in for so long and the all-encompassing way your illness impacted your joy & relationships with others. I’m not sure if anyone outside of this disease can really understand how far-reaching the effects are, but when you feel completely alone and desperate… hearing other patients’ journeys can be a beacon in the night. My TSH this week was 83.9. That’s not a typo. I’m also iron deficient/anemic, vitamin D deficient, etc. My hypothyroidism started with Graves Disease and an RAI. I thought that would be the end of my thyroid journey. That was over four years ago. I was placed on levothyroxine and promptly dismissed. I continued to return to my doctors and tell them how many symptoms I was having. I was ignored, had my symptoms trivialized “you’re telling me your life’s not perfect?” and referred to several different specialists because “you can’t blame your thyroid for everything.” My gut told me it was still my thyroid. My lab work repeatedly confirmed it. (Then I was accused of not taking my meds) Year after year, my blood tests would confirm that I was still “hypo” and then the doctor would simply increase my dose. It was like my body didn’t even recognize the synthetic thyroid hormone. I started politely asking about different brand names, T3/T4 combinations, etc. I saw three different endocrinologists and several other MDs. Every single one of those doctors gave me one solution to my diminishing health: another dose increase of a medicine my body wasn’t responding to. These doctors were willing to sit idly by while my life was literally withering away. I’m so angry. I’m angry because my medical condition was no mystery needing solving, no hidden disease appearing ‘normal’… I was very blatantly ill but they would not adequately treat me. After hitting a new low in my health and having another dismal appointment I gave up fighting, but my mom advocated for me when I couldn’t any more. She called a drug company that produces natural thyroid to get the name of a doctor in the state that would prescribe it. I had my first appointment with a naturopathic doctor yesterday. I’m starting on natural thyroid and several supplements to try and get my body back into balance again and then we’ll go from there in terms of weight/etc. I am hesitantly hopeful. We have a wide-scale battle on our hands here…. educating people so they can advocate for themselves/recognize the symptoms of thyroid disease but also putting the power back in the doctor’s hands vs. the drug companies’ hands, so doctors can meet vs. ignore their patients’ needs. I’m so thankful for advocacy sites such as this and the brave people willing to share their experiences.

    • Yet endocrinologists will argue that their patients do well on synthetic T4-only drugs. They just refuse to see or hear their patients.

  40. This blog post hit very close to home for me. My fiancé and I are in the midst of a breakup after 8 years together. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about a year ago, and while the combination of synthroid, progesterone and anti-depressants seem to be working….the damage that my depression, anger, exhaustion, lack of sex drive and just general disinterest in my fiancé’s life had become too great to overcome. It seems he was always the one making the sacrifices, doing everything he possibly could to keep me happy, and I never did the same for him. I didn’t even care about the fact that I wasn’t a ‘partner’ to him. I was too tired and angry and depressed and blah to give a crap about anything. I understand his need to move on. I’m not the woman he fell in love with. Somewhere along the way, I turned into this hypothyroid monster. He deserves better. I get it. I’m just sad that the breakup happened when it did….just when I had seemed to be getting back to my “normal” self. Now I seem to be caught in a downward spiral again. I don’t know if my thyroid is acting up or if my depression is back with a vengeance or if it’s just the stress of everything. I am so ready to climb into a bed a stay there forever.

  41. Hi Kathy. You do need a prescription to get Erfa desiccated thyroid. It’s Canada’s version of Armour or NatureThroid. My prescription says “100# 125mg Thyroid”. There are two pharmacies I know of up there that carry Erfa.

    1. The Canadian Pharmacy, (tel: 1-866-335-8064), and 2. Canada Drugs at 1-800-226-3784.
    ( http://www.canadadrugs.com)

  42. Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) is worth looking into for Hashimoto’s. It helped me.

    • Hi Tamra, I’ve heard from many doing great with LDN. So happy you found what works for you. By the way, loved your article at Stop The Thyroid Madness. I love STTM.

  43. I cannot begin to say how happy I am to have found this story. I recently found I have positive antibodies and a peroxidase of 50 and normal is less than 30. I have been through antidepressants and pain meds with no help. I cannot stand stress of any degree, as I am unable to handle it. I had been seeing a family dr for close to ten years who tested my TSH time and time again and continued to say it is normal at around 1.4. I have been losing my hair by the hand fulls, shaking, thinking seems to be off some, freezing cold, night sweats horribly and anger that is out the roof. I just had a baby 15 mos ago and don’t seem to remember a lot of his life. My dr refused to test thyroid any further beyond TSH and sent a certified letter refusing to see me anymore because I asked for a second opinion. My marriage is falling apart and I feel like my husband thinks I’m making it up. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and depression in the past that meds did not help. I managed to go back to the practice and see someone else who agreed to test antibodies and she had to call me and tell me I was right. I knew all along. She has since referred me to an endo but I don’t go until next Wed. I have been a wreck and hope to God I get some answers and help. I don’t feel like myself and am terrified (because my just and doesn’t understand) that he is just going to leave. I am just thankful to know I can hopefully be helped and that the endo I see next Wednesday is willing to help. And hopefully quickly. I am not sure how long this has been going on but I need to feel better. I am only getting about two hours or sleep and my menstrual cycle is crazy. Sorry to be all over the place but no one wants to hear me and this seems like the perfect place to vent as I am on good company.

  44. I also cried all the way through this. I have experience so much of this, and doctors never find anything wrong. For years I’ve had worsening issues that are ignored because i ‘look healthy’ and am young. My body and mind have been a trainwreck for a long time and i feel as if i’ll never get any doctor to take me seriously. I’m now without health insurance and any time i go to the doctor, they seem concerned but after my tests i cant get anyone to talk to me, i just hear “oh your results look fine.” I’m so sick and tired of it. And I only home that I find help like you did. It’s so comforting to know that im really not alone.

  45. Thank you Dana – I visited your page and gave it a like =) Yes it is peroxidase of 58.5 and ANA is “positive”. I also think I have adrenal fatigue too but hopefully my endo can tell me for sure. Had it not been for Google, I may would have ended up dead. This stuff is super serious stuff =(

  46. thyroid_talk says:

    Also cried at this story, so good to hear you fixed the problem in the end! I’m in my early 20s and have been experiencing symptoms similar to these for over 5 years now… Difference is I’m a male (maybe there’s a dad’s thyroid blog somewhere?!). Recently met a girl, connected with her on a really deep level and had a great time, all the time I was with her I knew I was fighting symptoms that would one day come back… So they did and the next time I saw her it felt like I didn’t even know the girl! We broke up and without her knowing it’s all down to the fact I have been fighting this horrible problem. Booked a blood test at my GP but feel the tests won’t flag anything significant as I had similar tests a year ago and nothing came of it. I know it’s not depression / anxiety I used to be the centre of attention anywhere and laugh about everything and anything and now I feel so disassociated with my body and my friends and family! Enough is enough! Until I read this I thought blood tests are gospel – how wrong I was!

  47. Yes, you do need a prescription that says “thyroid” and the mg dosage on it.

  48. Joy Hernandez says:

    I wanted to know how long does it take to see results after being on Ur hypothyroid medication. I have been on mine for two months and my ankles still swell and I get a tingly feeling in my thigh still. I’m stumped.

  49. Karen Hoyne says:

    I have many health problems but more recently I’ve felt worse than I ever had. I’m so tired, it comes over me like a ton of bricks were just placed on my body and I get so weak. I have so many of hypothyroidism but thought it was the fibromyalgia symptoms doing something crazier than normal. I started taking Prempro a year ago because of severe menopausal symptoms. I went to the doc a week ago, they took blood and found that my TSH value is 5.93, which has always been around 2.12 in the past. So, they had me come back for two more tests a few days ago. My T3 value is 156, which they are calling normal and my Free T4 value is 0.9, which they are also claiming to be normal. I have a doc appt tomorrow to go over these results. I’m so worried that they won’t do anything for me since the last two tests are in the normal range. I’ve gained 25 lbs in a short time, my clothes are bursting at the seams. I’m so tired that I can’t even come up with simple words when trying to make a sentence. I have 3/4 of the symptoms of hypothyroidism but I have fibromyalgia which have many of the same symptoms as the other. I guess I’m just worried that my doc won’t take me serious enough tomorrow. How much do the T3 and free T4 values have to do with the diagnosis of hypothyroidism if your THS is already way higher than normal? I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get some help.

  50. Oh my, I just stumbled across your fb page and websites through a poster repost on fb and keep getting teary as I read these stories.
    I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism since I was 17. I’m now 31 and while all my testing comes back suggesting my synthroid dosage is correct I’m always tired and my hormonal fluctuations seem SO extreme that I’ve wished I could breastfeed forever to avoid them. I feel so bad for my husband because the house is always a mess and by the time he gets home the kids have left me utterly exhausted more days than not.
    After the birth of my son (my second child) my thyroid ended up way off and there were times that the commotion of the store or kids made me want to scream, pull out my hair, and crawl out of my skin. This was on top of the bone numbing fatigue. And this is the same way I feel for a few days every month before my cycle.
    After reading several different posts and articles I am beginning to think that maybe I need to find a dr who does more than just thyroid bloodwork. It seems other testing can be vital. Somehow I never knew this despite my family’s history of thyroid problems.
    Thank you for starting this website. I don’t feel so alone anymore. ( which is hard when you’re too tired to put effort into friendships)

  51. Dottie McReynolds says:

    I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 19. My husband and I were married at that time, and we had our first child last year when I was 24. In a perfect world, I wanted to wait to have kids considering we were just kids ourselves and rushed into marriage. I have always suffered from depression since I was 11 years old. I was taken into foster care and bounced from home to home, so I just assumed that any kid in that situation would have been the same. As I got older, I realized it was more than just a “bout” here and there. My first two years of marriage were very unstable, mostly because I was unstable. But as the “self diagnoser” that I am, I just assumed that I had PTSD and depression, and I never wanted to go to a doctor because most of my life my foster parents dosed drugs out to me like it was nobody’s business. I had severe mood swings, I gained 80 pounds the first year of my marriage. I went from 140 pounds to 220 pounds, and I am still to this day 220 pounds. I finally went and seen a doctor, and they gave me medication for bipolar disorder, as well as anxiety medication, and trust me when I say, it did not help one bit. I still continued to struggle with not being able to get out bed all day, I would sleep for 14 hours or more a day. My husband tried to help me and be there for me as much as he knew how to. I one day started googling my symptoms and decided to see my gynecologist who told me I had PCOS, which I had already suspected. This is just the beginning of something up until tonight, I was so clueless about. I took the medication, at this point my husband and I decided to separate, and to be honest, I don’t blame him one bit. We were 3 years into our marriage, both in college, and he had some kind of wacky wife to deal with at home. Sometimes I was okay. Other times I am shocked he didn’t commit me. I had violent mood swings, crying spells, very deep dark depressions that I can’t even begin to explain. My body hurt all the time. After we separated however, I decided to finally stop battling myself and see my doctor and tell her there had to be something else going on. Thats when she took blood work and realized I had hypothyroidism. Here in lies the problem: I only wanted the diagnosis so I could call my husband beg him to take me back because I had proof that I wasn’t just crazy. I never took any of this stuff serious. I only started taking my medication to show him I was willing to “get better” so that we could just move on. After a few months of taking my medication, (how could I not, with a husband laying it out for me everyday?!) I got pregnant with our son. When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked because I was told it was not going to be an easy thing to do for me. Heres where my story turns ugly…up until that point, I had a little bit of a secret: I self medicated. This is even hard for me to type without stopping to take a breath. I knew that I could not enjoy the pleasure of an occasional pain killer to numb my pains and the euphoria that one pill could give me that “false sense of well-being” that I craved. This was for real. This was my miracle baby growing inside of me who deserved all the things that I never had. So I stopped taking pain medication, and pretty soon I stopped taking my thyroid medication as well. That was until my doctor told me my progesterone levels were very low and if I did not take progesterone there could be consequences. Up until this point, I never thought to tell her I had an under active thyroid. I just assumed thyroid medication wouldn’t be something you would take while pregnant. After that day, she adjusted my thyroid medication, and within two months, I was OKAY. I just (once again assumed) because I was so happy to bring my son into this world, that was the reason my mind was okay. NEVER in my life, EVER, had I felt like a normal person. I now realize that it was because I took my medication everyday at the same time like I was supposed to. Before when my husband was giving it to me, I would sometimes put it back in the bottle or in my pocket, because I saw no “noticeable” effects. I was to be honest, just on my best behavior. Needless to say, after I had my son, I was in a euphoria for a couple of months. Don’t get me wrong, every day with him is a blessing, I know how it was before him, so I don’t take everyday with him any less than a blessing. He’s a year old now. I stopped taking my thyroid medication after he was born. I can give you a million excuses as to why: I was a new mom, I barely had time for his appointments, let alone mine….But the real reason is because I didn’t notice any difference. But then again maybe it was because he was delivered via C-Section and I had a different type of medication. Or maybe, there is no maybe, and I just felt like I had everything under control. Once the pain meds were empty, I healed up, and I honestly never even thought about my thyroid again. I don’t guess I’d have to tell you that what led me to this website at 3 a.m. is because I am alone in bed, while my husband is sleeping on the couch, and I googled “Symptoms of an untreated thyroid”….and now here I am pouring my heart out on the internet because I let this happen to me again. I let this take control of my life. Except this time it affects more than me and my husband, we also have a son to think of. The mood swings came back unforgivingly so, and with it came new things, stress beyond belief, panic attacks in my sleep because I feel so depressed. I self diagnosed myself 6 months ago with “postpartum depression” because I assumed it would all go away in due time. I told myself that as long as I don’t feel the need to hurt my baby, I’ll be okay. But I’m not okay. My hair is thinning, I can’t lose the weight no matter what I do, baby attached and all, one minute I’m fine..I’m building my son a fort, the next minute I’m slapping husband across the face because he didn’t seem as interested in it as I was. My eye sight is terrible. (not sure thats a symptom) and I don’t want to go to sleep because I know I will be too tired to get up at a decent time, meanwhile I hear my husband being the mother and the father to our son. I know I’ve said my whole life story, I don’t want a pity party by all means, but I just finally want to be honest. And as honesty goes, any other night, I would have looked up symptoms on various websites and told myself “well, I’m not dying, so it’s not too bad…” But as I lie in bed typing this, and my husband is in another room, I have to wonder, how bad does it have to be? This website and all the stories and encouragement and the willingness to say what my doctor never has said and thats that this is something that affects people EVERY DAY, majority suffer and have no idea why. I know why. And I choose not to better my life and prolong my health and well being for my patient, loving, and beautiful family who still WANT to make up to me everyday? When I read the stories of the women who had thought they were going crazy, I just couldn’t stop reading. And therefore I started reading it all. Not just the parts I want to hear. Therefore, I choose to let this no longer hold me down. I am the only person standing in the way of not just my happiness and well being but for the ones who deserve it most. My family. And for that, I thank you.

  52. So pleased to have found all these stories of people living with their Hypothyroidism, can relate to everyone on here, saddens me so much that there isn’t much light at the end of the tunnel :( me as a person has changed so much, a number of years before being diagnosed I suffered the dreadful headaches, mood swings, depression, obsession, panic attacks, fatigue, sadness, loneliness, water retention, painful muscles and joints, swollen eye lids, dry eyes, course dry spotty skin, itchy skin, thinning hair, blurred vision, constant sinus infections, the weight gain is on going even though I try to be very careful with my diet, I have started to crave sweet things? I used to run on my tread mill done half marathons, I no longer have the will or the energy to do any of this… the list is endless!!! A completely different person to when I was 40 years old, I’m now 52! I used to see the positive in everyone and every thing now it’s all way’s negative! So lost, want to be who I used to be, my husband has commented now and again of what a nasty person I can be, I feel very sorry and sad to hear this from the man who I love so very much; however I can not blame him for telling the truth, wonder why he is still with me at times, not much happiness for him in our relationship either down to how I am!

    • Dear Fiona,
      I feel the pain you are going through. The most important thing is to get treated properly for your thyroid issues and to also make sure your husband reads posts like these so he knows it is not who you are. My husband stayed with me through it all, never went anywhere or saw anyone as I was so dependent on him and I asked him in my lowest self esteem moments (which was very often), why do you, did you stay with me and he would simply say ” because I love you”. My road is still rocky with things to balance out hormonally but I am grateful he stayed.
      Please have hope and hang in there, don’t beat yourself up, don’t give up, and never give up trying to find your answers.

  53. Joy Hernandez says:

    How did u know the first medicine didn’t work for u. What were Ur symptoms.

  54. Karenannie says:

    Hello, I am so sorry (and grateful) to hear of your story. My sister, who struggles with intense and complicated adrenal and thyroid issues, sent me your article today and I now am finally convinced that I must pursue this avenue of query to address the 20+ years of heavy symptoms that have resulted in the loss of my own life and livelihood to the point where I suffered a nervous breakdown in the 90’s during the highpoint of a successful sales career and new marriage, followed by depression treatment resistance, development of a thyroid goiter (which I had removed in 96 following my younger sister’s removal of her neck lymph and thyroid due to cancer diagnosis), and subsequent placement on synthetic thyroid medication ever since.

    I too seem to mirror the symptoms experienced and shared here. Everything’s been lost and I now live on disability in my parents’ basement where each day is a struggle. In October 2013, I placed myself on a wait list for a fee-reduced naturopathic clinic, hoping to be seen in mid-November 2014. Throughout the many years of treatment for mental illness (depression, anxiety, exhaustion, loss of self-esteem), I was never able to fully recover emotionally and mentally and there was always a gut feeling that there was more to the story than a sudden inability to manage the stressors in my life which had led to my apparent “nervous breakdown” in ’94.

    I thank you for enlightening me (and thank-you dear sister for your persistence ; )), and for all who have read thusfar to realize my purpose for contributing here. About a year before I was diagnosed and hospitalized for Major Depression, I stopped taking the birth control pills I had been on for almost 18 years (with the exception of the period where I had my son at 22). While it may not be relevant, I cannot help but pose the question as to whether this might be a significant, plausible factor of correlation for many women who are experiencing thyroid disruption in their lives.

    I’ve signed up so that I can receive comments via e-mail and I am most definitely going to pursue this thyroid (and adrenal), element of concern in my life and I would be most gratefully appreciate further insights with respect to any similarly experienced longterm birth-control pill use and subsequent cessation that may have preceeded significant emotional/hormonal duress (i.e. Major Depression, Nervous Breakdown), that also coincided with the development of thyroid goiter and diagnosed or undiagnosed hypothyroidism.

    Whew, thank you so much for bearing with me. I bid you all well and look forward to corresponding for greater mutual insights and good health!

  55. Suzanne says:

    Sarah you are a very luck women that you have a supportive husband that is there for you threw all of this who helps you and makes you feel beautiful!! I am so jealous! I myself am hypothyroid and have no support what so ever from my husband ! If anything he makes it 10 times worse ! All he does is put me down and call me the crazy one! This is His cop out blaming my thyroid disease on our problems.. So typical !! We have 4 kids I’m always home by myself with them while he does his thing!! I’m pretty much on my own ..I feel so alone ! If anything he is being selfish threw all of this because it’s turning into his needs and wants ..We all have needs and wants not only men have sexual needs ! So in closing be thankful for your supportive husband that he didn’t give up on you! Mine did on me and we are done ! Be well this thyroid disease sucks lol

  56. I just wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation to prophet salifu on bringing my fiancee back to me,I was in a relationship for 11 years with my fiancee he got tierd of me and he started seeing another. he started hailing at me and he was abusive.. and he stop careing for me, but I still loved him with all my heart .the situation made me unsettle and not to focus at work .so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my fiancee back and introduced me to a spell caster? i did not listen to her . i kept on hoping that my fiancee will come back home and beg as he use to . after a month it got out of hand ,i heard news that he is getting married to the other lady .it was so shocking to me ,i felt sad and depressed ,so i contacted my friend again and decieded to try to use spiritual means reluctantly..although I didn’t believe in all those things? I never thought that i will get my fiancee back to me a again. but I was proved wrong,after 2days i contact prophet , my fiancee came back to me and was pleading..that he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it that we are back together and married, the spell was a natural spell and it had no side effect on any one ,Prophet salifu remained consistent and kind throughout and made the process unbelievable I am deeply satisfied and thankful of his work .if in doubt you should email him at (prophetsalifu@yahoo.com )or (prophetsalifu@gmail.com)

  57. Thank you, Robyn. It is remarkable just how similar your story is to what I am experiencing. It breaks my heart, but I know life will go on. I find comfort in what you wrote.

  58. This is the first time I have ever tried to comment on anything like this, seeing as I struggle with hypothyroidism problems myself.

    It all started 13 years ago, when I was 13 years-old. I was bein moved around between my mom and dad, because thwy decided to separate, causing issues between myself and my 4 siblings. I have an older other, an older sister and 2 younger sisters. Anyways, I started to gain weight, eat more, sleep more, my menstrual cycle was extremely CHAOTIC! At the time, I was living with my two younger sisters at our grandmother’s house in Florida. We were struggling to keep up with school, seeing as we switched schools 3 times in one semester. I thought it was just stress. When I tuned 15, we finally were able to move back in with our mom. Problems seemed to die down with my hypothyroidism, and I didn’t think anything of it again until I was 17. I finally told my mom that something wasn’t quite right. My menstrual cycle became chaotic again and I had severe cramping. She took me to our doctor and they ran panels on me. I got my results back 2 weeks after see in my doctor. She put me on synthroid. Synthroid seemed to work for about 9-10 months, and then just quit working. By then, I was a senior in high school, and failing all all of my classes. I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything, but i did graduate. I went back to the doctor, she told me (after running more tests) that my panels came back normal and to stop taking the meds.
    A few months after stopping the meds, my world went all to hell… my grandmother moved up to North Carolina to live with us, she was in remission from lung cancer. Not long after she moved in with us, we found out that her cancer came back, but it was now in her brain as well. This was in June of 2007. A couple months later, after dozens of chemo and radiation appts, my mom got a call from a hospital saying that my damn passed away and that she needed to go up to Henderson county, North Carolina to view the body to make sure it was him. It was him…that was on August 4, 2007. That was one of the worst days of my life. October came around, and my grandmother got steadily worse. The chemo and radiation wasn’t working. She passed away on October 20, 2007. A few days after she passed away, my mom, my step-father, myself and my now soon-to-be ex-husband all went down to Florida to help my aunt and uncle clean my grandmother’s house. My mom got sick while we were down there. There was mold all throughout the house and my mom was a diabetic and her blood sugar spiked to over 600 with a fever of 1045. They gave her a shot, some pain meds and some antibiotics and sent her home. That was the firt time for her to be in the hospital down there. The second and third times she went, they told her that she double pneumonia on top of the bronchitis that she already had, causing pleuresy (spelling??) in the lining of her lungs. They gave her more antibiotics and sent her home again. We went back home to N.C. on November 4, 2007. That same day, she went back into the hospital with a fever of 107° and a rash across her stomach. My mom was put into intensive care after being flown to Asheville’s trauma center… my mom passed away on November 5, 2007. A few months later, in January 2008, my dad’s mom lost her battery woth cancer on January 12, 2008 and my dad’s dad followed her 11 days later. That was the worst 5 months of my life!!! My weight gain was horrendous…. I went from 175 to 285 between my dad passing until my dad’s dad passed. I still have struggles with my hypothyroidism. I am not on any medication. I can’t find a doctor. I don’t have insurance. I am happily engaged, and we want children. I’m in the middle of a divorce… very stressed. I’m also in college and that isn’t helping with stress. I want to get back down to the weight I was. And I want to have a baby. :-( I need help… I honestly do not know where to go from here.

    • Oh my gosh Gracie, so much all at once. You poor girl! It’s true what they say, when it rains, it pours. I had my husband and son die within 6-weeks of each other in 1998. Please hang in there, things do get better. I hope you can find a doctor who knows the right tests to run (Free T3, Free T4, Thyroid antibodies [TgAb and anti-TPO to discern Hashimoto’s], Reverse T3, and the 4 iron labs, Ferritin, % Saturation, TIBC and serum iron [sometimes the latter will just say Iron, or total iron]), and most importantly, a doctor who will prescribe Natural Desiccated Thyroid (NDT).

      • It’s hard but it has gotten easier over the years with them being gone. I am out of an abusove relationship and in one where I can absolutely say that my life is a LOT better with the one I’m with now in it.

    • Gracie, I can trace back times in my life when stress caused worsening of my symptoms. Please know there is hope to be well. There are good doctors out there who do get thyroid disease, and yes absolutely miracle babies are possible despite hypothyroidism. Here is an article with the major things that helped me have my second son following my miscarriage due to hypothyroidism. Then I’ll also put a link to resources to help you locate a good doctor in your area:

      http://hypothyroidmom.com/hypothyroid-moms-story-of-hope-her-miracle-babies/

      http://hypothyroidmom.com/30-online-resources-to-find-a-good-thyroid-doctor/

  59. TO GRACIE: You definitely have been through more stuff than the Average Bear. I agree with others that NDT is better than Synthroid. You also want to make sure you are getting enough iron, it might not hurt to supplement with a gentle type of slow iron to see if you feel better (but wait until after your blood is drawn for the iron level tests first bc if you supplement with iron now your tests won’t show how bad it really was). You’ll want to look at everything you eat and drink to check to see if it contains SOY or SOY ISOFLAVONES. That will slow your thyroid even worse than it is naturally being. Also, do you drink a lot of tea? Green tea, oolong tea, black tea, Earl Grey tea, etc? Then you need to know all tea contains fluoride which will slow your thyroid down too. You CAN get Chi Tea Green Tea Alcohol-Free Tincture (Amazon) and put a few drops in water to make a glass of tea at a time (or a pitcher) b/c IT has had the fluoride removed. Do you eat a lot of raw cabbage, broccoli, kale, turnips (foods in the cruciferous family)? Those also slow down your thyroid. You might want to cook them first bc that reduces the slowing to the thyroid they cause, or even avoid those until your weight gets back down. I think you also need all your female hormones checked by a hormone specialist before you start trying to get pregnant b/c ALL THE STRESS YOU DESCRIBED IS NOT NORMAL AND HAS DAMAGED YOUR HORMONE LEVELS IN SOME WAY. My bet is now you are at risk for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which can adversely affect fertility — you want to rule that out early. My guess is not only are you low on progesterone (which gets “eaten up” by stress and dissipates throughout your body), but even estrogen can be low even though you may be rather young. You may need supplementation with natural, bioidentical progesterone (skin cream/lozenge/injected pellet). You may also benefit from taking Nature’s Way Black Cohosh to naturally replace a little lost estrogen, but don’t do this if you aren’t simultaneously taking the progesterone… The Black Cohosh will reduce your appetite and give you natural energy that is healthier than caffeine. Also avoid energy drinks and caffeine/chocolate has caffeine b/c they will worsen everything and may make your adrenal glands poop out. You may also have something called Adrenal Insufficiency/Exhaustion – Google the symptoms to see. Try to de-stress your current life as much as possible to make up for the excessive stress you experienced in the past b/c sometimes the body doesn’t know how to “chill out” after a series of hard experiences like you described. (Caffeine adds to bodily stress.) People who have compromised adrenal glands reach for caffeine as a pick-me-up more than others do – but it’s the wrong tactic which will backfire. Be sure to get enough sleep, don’t feel bad about taking a nap rather than reaching for caffeine/sugar/candy/chocolate to “keep going.”

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