How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

Thyroid disease can take a toll on marriage. Popular blogger Unveiled Wife inspires us to have hope and to love with all our heart.

Written by Jennifer Smith

I always considered marriage to be an emotional and physical relationship. I narrowed the purpose of marriage down to how my husband’s needs and how my needs could be met by each other. So much of our interactions hinged on our ability to connect emotionally and physically with each other based solely on our willingness, our devotion of love for one another.

Having recently celebrated 8 years of marriage, I have learned that marriage is affected by much more than just our willingness to connect emotionally or through physical touch.

I first realized this within a few months of marriage when we went to Africa to serve as missionaries and we were encouraged to take medication to protect us from Malaria. This particular medication was the source of a two month battle with a yeast infection, horrible mood swings, nightmares, and more, all of which affected the way I was interacting with my husband.

How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

By our third year of marriage, we discovered that my body was very sensitive to a preservative called parabens, which can be found in thousands of personal care products. We were searching for a reason as to why sex was painful for me, again something that dramatically affected our ability to connect as husband and wife. For three years we had struggled to consummate our marriage because my body was unable to have sex without pain. Once I eliminated parabens I was able to have pain-free sex within a week! My mind was blown! And this discovery further affirmed just how much the environment can also affect the way in which couples interact in marriage, and whether or not it is a good experience.

The third time I became aware of something being a contributor to how my husband and I connect with each other came just after the birth of my son when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroid Disease. My weight was fluctuating, anxiety ran rampant, I became short tempered and aggravated easily, my body felt as if it was breaking down and my husband was worried my mind was breaking down too.

How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

At one point he strongly encouraged me to get a grip, fearing he would lose his wife once and for all. Not that I was threatened by death, but more so, the overwhelming negative thoughts I allowed to take over were a hindrance on our ability to enjoy each other’s company. I wanted to be “normal” again and protested daily with complaining. My sex drive was incredibly low and even the small desire I had I pushed away as if it was not a priority for me. I neglected to think about my husband, jealous that he did not have to deal with any of the symptoms I had to deal with.

Although my husband was patient with me, trying to understand the vulnerable state my body was in, he often tried to inspire me to be stronger and continue on with life regardless of my symptoms. His approach was gentle, but in my fear and insecurities, I took it wrong. I thought he didn’t get it and that he didn’t care to get it.

I did not feel like my husband and I were on the same page at all.

And because my hormones were all over the place, all I could do was focus on how I was feeling or what new symptom I had. I had become a victim of my diagnosis, letting it define me. My marriage was just as fragile as I thought my body had become.

It took me about six months to fully embrace my new normal and how my body was responding to the changes that came with motherhood. Six months of what seemed like a roller coaster ride for me and my husband. That is when things started to turn for the better.

How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

I share all this with you because I never considered all the different ways marriage is affected by our bodies, the environment, and other factors that we just aren’t considering. Our natural tendency is to blame the other person or complain about why we think things are going awry, and yet it could be something as simple as a medication side effect, an ingredient in a personal care product, or a disease like thyroid disease that are contributing to the tension we feel in the marriage relationship.

How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

I believe our health is vital to how we connect with our spouse and I hope that by sharing what I went through, you would be inspired to evaluate your health and life to see what could be affecting your marriage.

How Thyroid Disease Affects Marriage

About Jennifer Smith

I had a struggle in my marriage that lasted 3 years and I felt embarrassed and alone. God gave me the idea to provide a platform to talk about my journey being a wife, give other wives that platform and be a resource. Traditionally a bride is unveiled on her wedding day but it’s important to always be unveiled before God and your husband. To expose yourself can be a difficult thing to do, especially emotionally or spiritually.

I am devoted to encouraging wives all around the world through my blog and my books including The Unveiled Wife.

READ NEXT: Married to thyroid disease: Where’s the woman I married?

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About Dana Trentini

I founded Hypothyroid Mom October 2012 in memory of the unborn baby I lost to hypothyroidism. Hypothyroid Mom is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for consulting your physician regarding medical advice pertaining to your health. Hypothyroid Mom includes affiliate links to favorite resources including the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Connect with me on Google+


  1. It’s certainly nice to hear from others suffering from all the symptoms of Hashimoto’s thyroid; however, it always makes me a little sad because there’s never any solutions or treatments. I’ve tried everything available and nothing’s helps. That, in itself, can cause depression.

  2. solguiza says:

    Hello, I just came across this article and I just feel overwhelmed. Why because I feel alone. I honestly do. I love my husband and I TRY so very HARD to show him but I don’t think he understands how hard it is to deal with my condition. I’m actually struggling writing this because for one I feel silly expressing how I feel it almost seems selfish. And two I have read several articles where the spouse who is not affected seems to be so understanding . And That makes me sad, that after 3 1/2 years of dealing with this it still seems new to my husband. I was first diagnosed in 2013. I actually started off with Hyperthyroidism and Graves Disease. I had just given birth to my 2nd daughter. My husband is in the Military and was always gone. We were living in SC away from family and friends. (That was so hard for me having no support at all) I had a 3 yr old and a newborn. I was then told I was going to have a total thyroidectomy. I had my surgery in 2014. My husband was gone on Military duty, however he told my he was going to fly my 9 yr. old step son from CA so I was freaking out. I was only 1 week out of my surgery with 4 yr old. , 1 yr old and a 9 yr old. My mom was flown in to help but she spent most of her days their sleeping. It was so difficult for me. And to top things off we owned 5 dogs. 2 Huskies and 3 German Shepherds. My husband eventually came back home and bought me a Shih Tzu puppy as a I’m sorry I was not here. I love my Shih Tzu and I would not trade him for anything in the world but I really need just someone to help and really understand me! I went through so much I was an outpatient at recovery center for a 6 week program dealing with depression and suicide thoughts. It was honestly the toughest time of my life . I felt like I was going to lose everything I loved. Our time in SC was up and we moved back to CA where all our families is. I’m currently still in CA, dealing now with Hypothyroidism and all its symptoms and everyday feeling I’m going to lose my husband. He does not fully understand my condition and its not nagging, it not laziness, its not neglect and its not that I don’t want to be there for him as a wife. It s just me dealing and struggling with Hypothyroidism that doesn’t allow me to be the mom I want to be and the wife I would like to be. I would like to also just be me for me! Who I was before all this. But everyday I feel farther away from who I was and feel closer to losing my family. My Husband. He compares me to what other wives do, how he was treated in past relationships who may have appreciated him better. It hurts to hear this as I have to just stay quite or else Ill be told again what you want is a friend in me. Because that’s just how you treat me. IM so sorry for venting out I just feel so lost right now. with currently dishes pouring out my sink, bed unmade, laundry overflowing trash full, coffee cups half full through out the house, blankets on the couch and no dinner made. what Have I become. I just was to run but then.. I cant, because I’m to tried to even try.

    • Beth Ann Batman says:

      You are not alone. There are many out there. It is so very hard because our spouses either do not understand or they do not believe what thyroid disease causes.

    • Rebecca Michael says:

      Wow. This made me cry! Of course I seem to do that a lot nowadays. I’m touched. I feel your pain…I really do. I’m going through something similar and I do understand. I start to wonder what’s the point of having support if it’s not really supportive, if that makes any sense. Nothing seems to make sense and if it does make sense I don’t seem to understand it. Why? Why? Why? Who would have ever thought the million dollar question would be so simple. You are loved. My biggest motivation are those little ones that drive me crazy everyday. Please smile at least once everyday! Even if it’s only a partial one. Please hold on to yourself, even if it’s only by a thread. You are doing a great job! Sounds to me like you are!! Trust me! That’s a lot of love to give when you’re not even sure if you love yourself! Honey I feel wrecked with 2 kids (7&10)! You should get mom of the year award for real! You have a lot on your plate. Be proud of that. Too bad you can’t train the dogs to do laundry! Although I wouldn’t be surprised if Wikipedia has instructions for that! Best of luck to you dear! I hope you find yourself! Remember, you’re around somewhere.

  3. Bruce Courtney Knapp says:

    Thank you for your article. My wife had been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and Hashimotos disease years ago but her symptoms continue. I Don’t believe she is getting proper treatment and needs to find someone that can help. A major problem is her denial, especially with the depression, of her symptoms. Our marriage is suffering greatly and fear the worst. I m trying to get educated on everything about the condition. I desire to support her and stand by her, but she is making it very difficult. Open to any and all suggestions. Thanks Desperate

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