“Dana, your apartment used to be so organized…um…what happened?”
When an old acquaintance I hadn’t seen in several years came with her children for a play date, I was so embarrassed by her comment. I made all the excuses for why my apartment was not as “organized” as it used to be. I felt like such a loser. When she left, I started cleaning up all my stuff . I got so tired, that I shoved some of it under the bed and the rest in closets where my stuff could not be seen. I was upset, but then it dawned on me.
It’s hard to be a mom. Period.
Then add on having hypothyroidism.
She was right. Something did happen.
I took off my Supermom Cape.
When I was pregnant with my first son I had fantasies of being a supermom.
Then fatigue came crashing over me. I watched other mothers doing it all and I tried to keep up. I could barely keep my eyes open but I pushed myself to be a supermom keeping up my perfect career, home, and family. I knew that I was struggling and I felt like a failure.
I became pregnant again and miscarried. That was the tipping point when my hypothyroidism symptoms raged high and I hit rock bottom. To tell you the truth I don’t know how I made it through that dark time in my life. I found myself unable to keep my eyes open. I knew that something was very wrong.
This video by Dr. Steven Hotze appeared on ThyroidChange’s Facebook page. I am currently reading Dr. Hotze’s book “Hypothyroidism, Health & Happiness: The Riddle of Illness Revealed”. This video gave me goose bumps.
I have a feeling I’m not alone.
Back to school is here. My email inbox is filled with ads for after-school activities. That feeling of not being a good mom is coming over me again because I know that I don’t have the energy to keep up with all the activities. I get tired just watching all the other moms racing their children around to all their activities. But that’s okay. I remind myself.
Be good to yourself.
I’m so thankful that I finally found a great thyroid doctor. I’m feeling better than ever but I never want to go back to that dark place again. I know my limitations. I know that stress is my number one killer. Emotional and physical stress can take me down in one quick punch. I put so much of myself into caring for my children, I end up neglecting myself. I have to be so careful. I need to be good to myself and not feel guilty about it.
To care for others, you must care for yourself.
I have my hands full balancing life with my two beautiful boys – Benjamin 7 years old and Hudson almost 3. When that inner voice tells me that I’m a failure as a mom because I don’t have the energy to keep up with everyone else, I try my best to remind myself of one important thing.
Step into my shoes and walk the life I’m living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see what an AWESOME HYPOTHYROID MOM I really am.